Your Dog’s Bucket List Is Far More Hilarious Than Yours

Story at-a-glance -

  • The Chinese New Year began a few months ago (February 16th to be exact) and ushered in the Year of the Dog, as it has every 12 years since 1934
  • For humans, “The year of the (earth) Dog highlights dependability, building loyalty at work and in relationships, and certainly building material wealth” (according to Horoscopes.com)
  • But what would actual dogs do to celebrate the Year of the Dog? No one knows for sure, but we have some ideas, and we borrowed some good ones from veterinary journal dvm360, too
  • (Please note most of these ideas are offered from a dog’s point of view and aren’t meant to be taken seriously!)

By Dr. Karen Shaw Becker

The Chinese New Year began a few months ago (February 16th to be exact) and ushered in the Year of the Dog, as it has every 12 years since 1934. For humans, “The year of the (earth) Dog highlights dependability, building loyalty at work and in relationships, and certainly building material wealth” (according to Horoscopes.com).

But what do celebrations of the Year of the Dog mean to actual dogs? No one knows for sure, but we have some ideas, and we borrowed some good ones from veterinary journal dvm360, too. (Please note most of these ideas are offered from a dog’s point of view and aren’t meant to be taken seriously!)

10 Ways Your Dog Would Like to Celebrate the Year of the Dog

1. Very slow squirrels (in large quantities)

Veterinary journal dvm360 thinks dogs might hope for lots of squirrels to chase up a tree in the Year of the Dog.

2. Cats in costumes

The dvm360 journal also thinks dogs would like to see their owners focus their humiliating costuming energies on the cat, for a change.

3. An end to fake ball throwing

Also from dvm360: What’s up with pretending to throw the ball, dad? How about you commit to only real ball throws for the Year of the Dog?

4. Stay at home dog parents

Most dogs would love it if mom or dad (or both) could find a nice work-from-home job so they wouldn’t be alone so much during the week.

5. Lidless kitchen trashcans for all

Is it really too much to ask pet parents to leave the kitchen garbage accessible for one lousy year?

6. An end to the evil vacuum’s reign of terror

Seriously mom, dad … what is that hideous thing? Why does it make such an ear-splitting noise? Do you know how sensitive my ears are? And it stalks me, I swear! Could you put the blasted thing away for the Year of the Dog? Or forever?

7. A moratorium on nail trims

No pet loves nail trims, but some really hate them. Most dogs would surely enjoy more nail-wearing walks and a nice year-long break from the click of the clipper or the drone of the Dremel!

8. Couch privileges

What dog who isn’t allowed on the furniture wouldn’t love the opportunity to celebrate the Year of the Dog on the couch?

9. Co-sleeping (it’s not just for babies)

Your dog knows for a fact that no matter how soft, supportive and comfortable her own extravagantly expensive doggy bed is, yours is better. She thinks the Year of the Dog gives you 365 opportunities to share your much better bed with her.

10. Playtime!

If there’s one thing every dog knows he needs more of, it’s fun times with his favorite human. So as often as you can during this Year of the Dog, find ways to play, exercise and explore the world with your canine companion.

+ Sources and References